


What's in a (last) name?

by Dontjudgemyfanfichistory



Series: Linked Universe Short Stories [1]
Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time
Genre: F/M, Link and Zelda are BFFs, Link has ADHD, Linked Universe (Legend of Zelda), Malon and Time love each other, Time was an idiot was he was younger, Wind is a kid and Twilight is a suffering older brother
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:01:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22038211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dontjudgemyfanfichistory/pseuds/Dontjudgemyfanfichistory
Summary: Link, soon to be Time, unfortunately doesn't know what a last name is. Lucky for him, he's an idiot.
Relationships: Link & Zelda (Legend of Zelda), Link/Malon (Legend of Zelda), Malon (Legend of Zelda)/Time (Linked Universe)
Series: Linked Universe Short Stories [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1676752
Comments: 14
Kudos: 281





	What's in a (last) name?

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally a live write on the Linked Universe discord server so formatting might be weird. 
> 
> Big thanks to Lime for letting me bounce this idea off you.

The Halls of Hyrule's interior seemed much bigger than Link knew they were. The paintings predictably dreary and the carpet beneath him stuffy and thick. Zelda was leading him down the corridor to the record room. Where he would soon become an official Hyrulian citizen. 

The pair of teens made their way through the corridors, Zelda was still trying to explain the idea of citizenship to the poor boy. 

"Why can't I just live here?" Link repeated. "The princess knows I'm here, isn't that enough?"

Zelda sighed, "Because."

"Because what?"

"Let's say you want to own land, you would need to show that you were a citizen so you could legally buy Hyrulian land."

"But I don't want to buy land."

"That's why this is  _ hypothetical _ ." Zelda stressed "Just. Never mind, here we are."

The two of them now stood before the door to the  _ oh so fabled record keeper _ . The guy who would do Link the uneaded honors of making him  _ 'Officially a person' _ whatever that meant. Link may be close to 36 mentally, and maybe it was his inner Old man, but he hated unnecessary customs

Zelda pulled the door open and shoved him inside. The inside of the room was crowded with shelves. Paper covering every surface that didn't have a book on it. The faint scent of perfume lingered in the air. At least this place smelled nice.

"Limewell!" Zelda called out to the mess. "Get out here! I brought someone who needs to become a citizen!" 

Link could hear multiple stacks of things falling over as a figure emerged from the back. Dressed in the noticeable robes of the Castle staff, the middle aged man made his way to what could be considered the front desk, but seeing as there was so many desks, it could be any of them. 

"Princess Zelda. What a pleasure to see you here." He greeted as he placed himself the ridiculously large chair behind the desk. "And hello there to my young fellow. Looking to be a citizen are you?" Link nodded silently. "Well you came to the right man. I'm the keeper of these records." He gestures to the room behind him.

_ I would never have guessed _ Link thought. There was no way that the only man in the room of records  _ was _ the keeper of records? How was this possible?

"Well." Zelda clapped her hands together, she was way to excited about this. Way more then him anyway. "How do we start Limewell. I've never witnessed someone becoming a citizen before."

The man grunted "Ah yes, well. It's pretty simple you see," He looked up at Link. "Have a seat my boy, this wont take long. I just need some information about you." 

Limewell pulled a piece of paper from a drawer. It was fancy, being pre-written in some colored ink as well. "You can read my boy, yes?" He asked Link. Link shrugged, his reading skills were none to brag about and he had only found the time to start learning how in Termina. 

"Thats's ok my boy."  _ Call me boy one more time I dare you _ "I can read this to you if you'd like." He nodded at that. 

And so began the long reading of the standards and expectations of being a citizen of the great land of Hyrule. The laws of the land, the details about the draft, taxes, social benefits,  _ welfare _ , as if anyone cared about his welfare other than his girlfriend and Zelda.

The initial reading took a good part of the hour, and soon Zelda took a seat next to him. Link considered picking at the embroidery on her dress to keep himself busy, he decided  _ no _ , Zelda wouldn't appreciate him doing that in a meeting. He elected to zoning out instead. 

Soon Limewell was done reading the essay and set it down, now looking at the pair. "Did you understand all that?"

Link was brought out of his million mile stare, "Yep."  _ nope _

"Great then!" Limewell exclaimed. "Let me just get the paper you need to sign." There was more? Hylia have mercy on him.  _ Like she had mercy on anyone _

As Limewell scurried off into the shelves Link plopped his head onto Zelda's shoulder. It took effort since she was almost five inches shorter than him now. 

"Oh stop it drama queen." Zelda scooted away from him on the hardwood bench. But Link continued to lean on her, resulting in him slumped over on the bench head near her legs. He closed his eyes and let out a groan. "How much longer." 

Zelda said nothing but Link could feel her shrug. "I've never done this before. So I'm in the same boat. But I did find it interesting that you have to pay a three rupee fine if you break something of royal commissioned farmer equipment." 

Link sat up slouched, "He said that?"

"Do you even listen?"

"You know the answer to that."

"Now." Limewell appeared from seemingly underneath the desk. Link jumped at the abruptness. He put another piece of parchment in front of Link. This one was much more plain. Just some lines and a place for a signature at the bottom. 

"Would you like to write or shall I?" Limewell asked. 

"Write what?"

"Your given name, tittles, age, birthday, all that." Limewell smiled good naturally at the him. 

_ Fuck, Birthday? _ Like Link knew when he was born. "Can Zelda write for me?" 

"Is she wants to I guess her highness could be able to."

"I'd love too Link!"

Limewell shrugged and slid the paper to Zelda and handed her a quill. 

"Ok," Zelda grabbed the quill, "Age?" she looked expectantly at Link. 

"36."

"Physically, you dork." 

Link shrugged "15?" 

"Close enough." Zelda wrote the number on the paper in her neat princess handwriting

Link made no comment at Limewell's confused expression, let the old man not understand. 

"When's your birthday?" Zelda had her quill poised for Links answer. 

"In the fall I think?" That's what Saria said right? "Maybe in November." Link suggested.

"Well," Zelda paused. "What’s your favorite number out of 30?"

"Uuhhh." Link never gave thought to his favorite number. 

"21? Good choice. What year?" 

Link sighed and rested his forehead on the desk. "You can just fill that in."

"Okie dokie."

Link could feel Limewell's wanting to intervene, but he knew the old man wouldn't deny something the Princess did. One of the reasons he wanted Zelda to do the writing. And totally not because his handwriting was comparable to cuckoo scratches.

Soon after his age and supposed birthday were recorded, they turned to titles and names. 

"Any titles Link?" Zelda sure did like asking the obvious. 

"None that I can think of." 

"Nothing? Really?" Zelda eyed him, she knew he was being an ass on purpose. "No titles to speak of, Mr.  _ Hero of Time _ " She goaded. 

Link could feel Limewell's shock. Of course the old man didn't know who he was. "Well I guess you've brought one to mind. You can write that down if you  _ really _ want to."

Zelda elbowed him then continued her job of wrangling the 37 year old manchild for information.

"Name?" She asked

"Link."

"Last name?"  _ what the fuck was a last name. _

"Link?" He guessed. Zelda paused at that then turned to face him.

"Link. do you know what a last name is?"

"Yes?" 

The girl sighed, "Your last name is your surname, it's meant to figure out who you are. The name after your name." She pointed to herself. "My last name is Hyrule, because I'm the princess of Hyrule." She pointed to Limewell. "His last name is Helgeson, because he's the son of Helge. Do you get it now?"

Link nodded numbly. So his last name was the last word of his title. Or an amalgamation of his title. Princess of  _ Hyrule _ , Zelda  _ Hyrule _ . Made sense. And since he was the Hero of Time. 

"Time." He said decidedly. "My last name is Time." 

Zelda squinted at him, clearly not believing him. "Your last name is Time?"

Link quickly did the math in his head. "It should be." 

"Are you sure? Once I write that down it's official."

"Yeah I'm pretty sure it's Time."

Zelda grimaced. "Well okay then," she neatly wrote  _ Time _ after Links name on the document.

Link Time, yeah that sounded right.

After Link was set free from the stuffy record room, he bid Zelda farewell and made his way to Lon Lon Ranch. His girlfriend would be thrilled to know of his official hyrulian status he was sure. 

\--

"Wait, let me get this right. Ya'll really didn't know what a last name was?" Malon asked in disbelief 

"Well yeah," Link replied. "Those are reserved for people with titles, n' since no one ever referred to me by that, just never came up."

Malon's eyes widened. "Repeat that why don't you." Her face was cracked up in a smile.

"Repeat what?"

"That part about only rich folk with titles havin last names."

"Uh." Link was not appreciating the look on her face. "Your last name comes from your title, Right? Last name equals the last word of your title. Right?" Did he mess up? Was his title to important to be a last name? Oh no  _ that's _ why Zelda was skeptical.  _ Oh no. _

His inner turmoil was interrupted by Malon's laughter. The farm girl was clutching her sides bending over from her spot on the fence. "Oh my gosh," she breathed. "Ya'll really was raised in the forest."

"Did I, did I get it wrong?"Link feared the answer.

"Well you see hun," Malon put a hand on his shoulder, still shaking a bit. "A last name is your family"s name. Everyone has a last name. Family's have names to determine who ya'll are. Let's say there are two Links in Hyrule, how'd ya'll tell them apart? Well one's Link Baker and the other's Link Smith. And family's have the same last name so you could tell that if the last name is Baker then he'd be a part of the Baker family." She nodded as Link stared dumbfounded at her. 

"So what would be actual last name be then?" He asked.

"Well what was ya papa's last name? Or your mothers? What about their first name?" 

"Never figured that one out, orphan remember?"

"Oh shoot that's right. What about ya'll tree dad? What was his name?"

Linked shrugged. "The great Deku tree isn’t really a name. Besides Zelda already recorded what I thought my last name was. I'm not sure I can go back and modify what's on paper."

Malon looked at him. "What's your last name then? Or, what you thought was your last name." 

"Time." Link grumbled. 

"What was that? I couldn't hear you."

"Time." He spoke it louder this time.

"Your full name is Link Time now? That's not too bad. You could've said Moonslayer or somethin else a kid would pick."

"Yeah, sure."

\--

"So, you're sure you want to marry me?"

"Absolutely, Malon Time has a nice ring to it."

"What?"

"Ya'll get someone's last name when you marry them."

"Oh."

\--

"Welcome to Lon Lon Ranch!" The red headed women told them. Time's wife Malon had accepted the boys with open arms. 

It was the Third day of their arrival and Twilight felt the thrill of being on a normal farm again. The smell of horses was comforting and the cluck of cuckoo's was familiar as it was terrifying. 

Wind was currently following Twilight as they carried sacks of flour from the storage shed into the house. Or at least, trying to carry, in Wind's case. Twilight thought about taking the boy's sack from him as he heard the puffs of exasperation from behind. 

"You need some help Wind?"

" _ Nope _ ." Twilight heard the dull thud of a sack hitting the ground. "Maybe."

"Hey, It's not a big deal if you can't carry a Forty Pound bag of flour." He comforted the youngster as he bent over to get Wind's. "Now You get to open the doors for me, and ask Malon where I get to set this stuff."

Wind nodded vigorously and ran ahead to the house where Malon could be seen through the open window.

Wind held the door open for Twilight as he crossed the threshold. He could see Time was sitting at the table with Warriors. "Ms. Lon Lon!" Wind piped up from behind the door. "Where does Twilight set the flour?" 

Malon turned away from the pie in making to look at the pair. "Ms Lon Lon?" She asked. 

Twilight, still holding the flour, lightly kicked Wind in the shin. "Be polite, she's married." He hissed.

"Oh! Sorry." Wind apologized. "Mrs. Lon Lon, where does he set the flour?"

Malon flashed them a smile and ushered Twilight to the pantry where he could unload. "It's no worry Wind. Folk round here call me Miss all the time. What I was pointin out was my supposed last name. I took Link's last name when we got hitched."

"Time's last name?" Twilight said, emerging from the pantry. "Now what's that?"

"I didn't know the old man had a last name." Warriors added. He pointed at Time. The man was staring at the table with a grim look on his face. "What's your last name Time?"

"Now I want to know." Wind shut the door. "Mine is Cleary. My great grandpa was a clerk for the royal family and he passed down the name to my Grandma." 

No one noticed Malon's grin as she watched the boys corner her husband. "Why don't you tell then dear, might as well let them know sooner or later." 

Time didn't break his stare at the table as he mumbled out his answer. " _ Time _ "

Warriors looked confused. "We know you  _ nickname _ is Time, we're asking about your  _ last _ name."

Twilight stood somewhat behind Time, and if he wasn't mistaken, Time might be uncomfortable. 

"No, you got it right." Time grumbled. "That's my last name."

"Wait." Warriors held up his hand. "Your last name is-"

"Yes." 

"Like Hero of? Or just."

"Just Time."

"Just Time?"

"Yep."

Wind put his hands to his face. "Oh my gosh. Your name is Time  _ Time _ ."

"Don't wear it out now." Time sounded miserable. Twilight didn't blame him. But Malon still had her award winning smile on as Warriors and Wind kept grilling Time about his name. 

"Were you born with it or?"

"No."

"So you chose it."

"Yes."

Wind couldn't believe it. Now he had to tell everyone. But before he could slip out the door Twilight grabbed his arm. "I know what you're gonna do, don't."

"Aawwwww."

Malon interrupted Warriors, "At least he didn't go with Godslayer. I had to try really hard to convince him not to go with that one."

Time was brought out of his stupor. "Hey! That was never an option." 

"I'm not sure," she hummed. "You were pretty adamant about that one."

"You weren't even there when I got the papers signed."

"Nice try trying to save your reputation Link. But I knew you were an edgy teen from the start."

"I can't believe you. My own wife turned against me."

Twilight only now realized that Warriors was in tears. He grabbed Warriors by the arm as well and hauled the two boys out of the house. Leaving the couple to their squabble.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Feedback and constructive criticism would be highly appreciated.


End file.
